As you grow older, you realise that certain things or rather certain people don't deserve a response. We create less drama as we grow older and possibly wiser but at the same time we demand the same from people, to be reasonable. So it was easy for me to ignore certain comments made by a celebrity wife inspite of being a working woman. I don't expect a twenty something whose only achievement probably is marriage to a celebrity to have the maturity or realise the struggles. It's probably unfair of me to make this statement too, I am no one to judge someone else's life.
But this also made me do a root cause analysis of the whole scenario. I have certain Observations and I list them as I go ahead
1. Written vs. Verbal :
We live in an Information Age where written and indirect communication has somehow become very important. The ancient Greeks and Indians laid emphasis on verbal communication. Ram-Leela was performed in front of live audiences so the reaction of audiences was instant. All our epics were transferred in form of recitations and there itself is the difference. Today it is easy to hide behind a pseudonym and write nonsense. Just read the comments section of any post on any internet media. It is filled with at least one fool who thinks bullying is okay, using cuss words unnecessarily is okay, judging strangers is okay. It is simpler to write hateful words than to say them. That alone is not the problem. Try saying the same words to a person on face, a little something called basic decorum stops us because the reaction would be instant. You could read the disappointment, fear, hurt on the other persons face. And that is one of the problem of this internet age. We say things we don't mean.
2. Feminism:
It has slowly transformed from being a powerful word to a word with negative connotation. Open any of the Facebook so called humour pages and you will find memes of sexist humour and memes making fun of the idea behind feminism. My favourite being the graph that relates feminism to body weight and ugliness. Question is who is to blame for it? Patriarchy or pseudo feminists? What is worth fighting for? I have my own idea of feminism which may differ from the said celebrity wife and I have the maturity to give her time to mature. I have the maturity to accept that at 20 I had totally different set of beliefs. I am a firm believer that feminism is not only needed for women but if we really want to bring about change it is a gender neutral phenomenon.
3. Responsible media:
I really have been harping about this. There are a thousand news channels who want to run 24 hours and need something to create a hue and cry about. And that's where unimportant people and issues get importance. Why should I care about what a celebrity wife thinks? Why should I care about how the so called top comedians fought mid air? It's the media which ingrains that I need to care to feed their TRPs.
The click bait sites are another story. "Ten reasons why feminism is a hoax.#6 really surprised me" and I am tempted to read what #6 is. It's all a capitalist world feeding on our reactions, our emotions.
4. So now question is which battles do I choose to fight?
I can choose to not react to celebrity drama and media hypes.
I choose to not click the numerous clickbaits.
But
I choose to react to every moron I meet in real life who thinks feminism is a word misused by women for their own good.
I chose to react to every woman who misuses the word.
I chose to react to patriarchal women who judge other women.
I recently overheard a conversation where a school principal was lecturing parents about spending more time with kids in an effort to explain why their school wasn't organising summer camps for two hours a day. The argument was that today's parents need to invest in kids or a kind of new generation will emerge who won't care for the parents back.
I choose to react to such people because the future of the kids is in hands of such people.
I chose to educate them that no parent ever on the face of earth is careless enough to not spend quality time with their kids. Working women are balancing work, home, finances, cooking and million other things but no person has the right to judge and lecture any parent on what their parenting style should be. We grew up with working parents and turned out fine.
And I have only one answer to every person who believes working women are neglecting their kids and will payback when the kids won't be attached to them. And the answer is -that every parent should raise independent kids who don't grow up to be dependent on parents for choosing their shirts for the day. The kid didn't choose to be born to you, we chose to bring them in the world so it's our responsibility to not burden them with the expectations we have of them in regards to our old age. If I am raising my kid right, she will grow up to be a decent human being. That's all I should expect.
In conclusion, to all working women out there and all homemakers and all parents who are raising kids, chose what you react to and chose your battles carefully.
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