Confusions

I remember when I turned 23, I had decided to get "serious" in life, the steps I took were to tear off the 'Arjun Rampal" posters from my room , order new furniture, kinda like the bedroom set thingy, in a hope that it would, shall, can, maybe change my outlook towards life. Now 3 years later, am still the same, who takes each day as it comes. I am not exactly a character out of 'wake up sid' or any of the grow-up movies, but still I lack the "ambition" gene that poeple around me have. I have come up with a list of things I cant and wont do even if I try:

1. Brag about myself, I mean if I have devoted 6 months to say save the earth from devastation, I would shut the hell up unless someone specifically asks me to elaborate and even then I would give a brief account of it and not go on and on abt how I had a meeting with God and we decided to save mankind.. blah blah... point is I fail to understand ppl who do tht. Usually i just stare at such ppl and think, "Bravo!" Point is- Keep the accolades, I dont need them if I need to beg. Seriously, boasting is equivalent to begging for attention.
2. Listen to nonsense- Now this is relative, things I believe are nonsense and a total waste of time, somehow turn to be life-savers. But as long as its nonsense based on my perception, it is nonsense! And yes, I've full right to escape to my "fantasy world" so friends if you think I am not paying attention, your fault in entireity! I prefer the nonsensical Prince on white horse than your blabber and I'm not apologising.
3. Dress up- For all my North Indian friends, be prepared to see me in Jeans & Tee at your wedding, I am done dressing up forcefully and under no obligation would I wear anything that sparkles! And to my Fashion Designer frds, keep your ideas to yourself, for me my fav Jeans and my Twilight Tee is fashion, ppl do look back, so thats fashion rgt? I guess showering everyday is more than enough and paying any more attention on my attire is waste of time and efforts. I have better things to do in life, which includes blogging ;-)
4. Propose- Yeah rgt, with all my quirks and a tattoo and my addiction with "Sex and the City- The series" and my usual Jeans, I cant and wont do tht. (Too old fashioned ;-)). If i do, it would be desperate measures,but no.. wud i? maybe, can i? maybe.. But yeah u know its better to ask then turning 70 and damning myself that "waht if I had asked tht 1 person" . On second thoughts, I dont think I can, atleast face 2 face, or on phone, or otherwise.. Damn!
5. Get too ambitious: This includes Point 1 above, I cannot be a crab, wont pull someone down to reach the top, What the hell am I doing in an MNC? But I dont have high aims, and guess cant get high aims, I just prefer my "things to do before I turn 30 list" That reminds me, time to renew the list.
6. Hypocrisy: Picture this, I have many frds who smoke, drink etc, but thats normal okay, coz they r guys, if a girl does the above, they turn up their noses, so I cant and wont stand such ppl. Being a Punjabi, I have many relatives who fall in that list. So guys, either get saintly or stop expecting a saint. Recently, someone at a party wid a drink in hand, came to talk to me and said in full gusto in an futile effort to please me, " I dont keep my drink in view of girls" as he hid it in his other hand, my only Query was, "Dude, then finish your drink and then come and chat me up", I'm not impressed by this hypocrisy. 

Point is, Maybe I am hypocritical, maybe I am aimless, but I have a set of principles by which I live. I just realised that changing furniture did not change me, I am stuck wid the principles I had at 23 or 18, So guess I wont grow more than tht. Guess than I shd stick to my dreams of wining a Booker and be outcast forever!

Feline Life

Something I wrote recently, after not attempting poetry for years during which Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Keats and like were resting peacefully, I give them reason to take a turn in their graves yet again by trying it..


Feel feline as I live all my nine lives,

In an equal amount of hours given to me,

The so-called notions are out of the window

And sanity is something i fail to see

Am running and failing as my mind strives,

To decide if its such a must

or a thing which i can forego

the line between respect and adoration is thin,

And guess I travelled in gust

The blurred partition long ago.

Its darker out here, As I battle alone

Knowing its nothing but a lost one

My enemy is first my swollen ego

And then you, who wont ever dream the way I do.

- (c)Dixy Gandhi

When Cupid Strikes…

I consider myself as a fairly practical person, so yeah I don’t believe in any of the “love conquers all”, “Marriages are made in heaven” or any other clichéd sh**t aptly advertised by Yash Chopra and clan. But recently, I have been meeting people who are testing my patience and that leads to interesting debates.

I don’t know what gives rise to such discussions, maybe it’s the fact that my friend circle has touched the silver line of 25 and suddenly everyone is smart, mature, engaged or in a relationship. So yeah every meeting in Café Coffee Day is heated with the conversations that we have, in contrast to the chilled tropical iceberg’s everyone is sipping. So then I decided to do some of my own soul searching through blogging (because it’s in fashion, ofcourse!) Another reason is that I am the only cynical in my group, so instead of arguing with all, its better here, no one can cut me out mid sentence with… “aga pan.. kasa asta…” and there goes my strongest argument point, lost in the blabber. So guys Shut up and Listen!
I have been thinking, so now, I take the stance of Carrie Bradshaw and type it out while sipping coffee. ..
How changed are we? Like if I look around, all the people irrespective of gender are looking out for that perfect person. (Sorry friends for giving you out! But you know you’re :-)) But…

But But… its the new millennium, so even the most romantic person has a long list of If’s and but’s to fall in love. For example: “ No re… I want someone who is from so and so place”, “ I want someone who is same caste, color.. gotra..Watever” “I want someone from my own field” “ I want some one who is at least 6 ft tall (oops..thats me ;-)). The point is everyone wants to fall in love, okay! No arranged marriage because that’s what is for losers, that’s the general notion, but then isn’t all the criteria an arrangement too? So guys, either digest the fact that you are looking out for some arrangement and hence don the traditional, practical hat or else just let go of your prejudices and let destiny takes its course.

One of my more sorted out friend recently commented “nahi re Click hona chahiye”.

So another question…what’s this click? Something inexplicable? Don’t think so.
It can just be put that if you have the right kind of equation with someone and when all the above criteria doesn’t matter anymore, that’s when you know that it has clicked ;-) You know in a very hypothetical way if you imagine your life ahead irrespective of the fact that, the person is not Brad Pitt that you secretly wanted to marry or not from your field or caste or city, but still its okay, it does not matter, that’s when you know it has clicked. Right?
The point is, why the hell are we so confused? Like if I look at the people about 4 yrs older, they guess knew what they wanted. Or for that matter, the older generation had no other way other than the traditional. And we, we want everything but on our own terms. So the all romantic, fairytale has to have a tailor-made prince/princess. Like we imagined, nothing else will do.
Why does conditions creep into a thing which is supposed to be you know brain-free? I mean I am kind of dead sure that once you really think about it, nothings going to matter and then comes the confusion, How d hell did it happen????!! So the next step is of the cynical, strong, independent us wondering what really happened. Why complicate everything?
So in conclusion and without further confusions, guys, just have fun and let things happen as they do. In short, take the hand away from the steering wheel of your life and let the accident happen, that would be the ‘click’! Who exactly is the cynical here now???