During engineering we inherently learn to rely more on the logical side of the brain than the creative one and we learn to measure everything.
Length in meters.
Mass in kilo grams.
Heat in calories.
Mass in kilo grams.
Heat in calories.
SI unit, Imperial units, everything with a definition. Everything explainable.
But there are certain things which cannot be measured,
Like Love (Cheesy), Pain, Hatred, Madness.
It is all relative.
If I ask my partner, How much do you love me? And since having a baby, I do ask him that a lot, blaming it on hormones, but somehow in a day spent in nappies and feeding schedules, I keep needing the validation. The answer, if I get any is always the same and its always unmeasurable. You just have to feel it. But it can be measured in grade point system-
If after my lappy goes kaput, I ask for a new one and I get it the very next day-A
If after my lappy goes kaput, I get new one without asking- A++
If I keep on asking and the answer is soon- B
If I keep asking and the counter question is, Do you really need one now? Its F.
My point is love here is measured on Demand vs Supply curve. If my demands are met, I have a wonderful partner, if not, my partner has a demanding wife!!
That's how it works.
Like Love (Cheesy), Pain, Hatred, Madness.
It is all relative.
If I ask my partner, How much do you love me? And since having a baby, I do ask him that a lot, blaming it on hormones, but somehow in a day spent in nappies and feeding schedules, I keep needing the validation. The answer, if I get any is always the same and its always unmeasurable. You just have to feel it. But it can be measured in grade point system-
If after my lappy goes kaput, I ask for a new one and I get it the very next day-A
If after my lappy goes kaput, I get new one without asking- A++
If I keep on asking and the answer is soon- B
If I keep asking and the counter question is, Do you really need one now? Its F.
My point is love here is measured on Demand vs Supply curve. If my demands are met, I have a wonderful partner, if not, my partner has a demanding wife!!
That's how it works.
Lets talk about hatred, Can you really measure how much you hate someone?
And does "not loving" equalise hatred?
If I say I hate Poonam Pandey, does that even make sense? She doesn't affect me on a daily basis. So indifference should be the word. I am indifferent to her.
Hatred is such a strong emotion, stronger than love, and hence should be used sparingly. But it isn't measurable either. Comparatively, yes.
And does "not loving" equalise hatred?
If I say I hate Poonam Pandey, does that even make sense? She doesn't affect me on a daily basis. So indifference should be the word. I am indifferent to her.
Hatred is such a strong emotion, stronger than love, and hence should be used sparingly. But it isn't measurable either. Comparatively, yes.
Pain is relative too. What pained more, Root canal or Labour? For me, both were spaced apart by some years hence the direct comparison scale was lost or foggy.
Root canal was followed by ice cream
Labour by my sweet Lil kid, so by that logic, relatively labour was less painful than root canal irrespective of the fact that root canal went for measurable 1.5 hours and labour was 12 hours.
Root canal was followed by ice cream
Labour by my sweet Lil kid, so by that logic, relatively labour was less painful than root canal irrespective of the fact that root canal went for measurable 1.5 hours and labour was 12 hours.
Next is madness, how do you decide how mad someone is?
The WHO has guidelines to classify mental disorders. The severity is also classified- measurable.
So anxiety, depression, post natal depression, OCD, phobias all are in one category.
Bipolar disorder, schizoid , mania in another.
Schizophrenia, ADHD in other.
And treatments are decided based on the severity. So the psych decides if someone is able to move in society or needs medication and consultation.
But there are two sides to this classification.
In India, psych consult for something like depression, post natal depression even bipolar disorder is taboo. We have a strong family system and everyone from our aunt to cousin is a professional psychiatrist. So it is frowned upon.
The WHO has guidelines to classify mental disorders. The severity is also classified- measurable.
So anxiety, depression, post natal depression, OCD, phobias all are in one category.
Bipolar disorder, schizoid , mania in another.
Schizophrenia, ADHD in other.
And treatments are decided based on the severity. So the psych decides if someone is able to move in society or needs medication and consultation.
But there are two sides to this classification.
In India, psych consult for something like depression, post natal depression even bipolar disorder is taboo. We have a strong family system and everyone from our aunt to cousin is a professional psychiatrist. So it is frowned upon.
Why would one spend money on consulting when your mom is gonna tell you the same thing?
And I defy this logic, sometimes help is needed and at the right time. An educated, modern , logical mind says- mental illness should be taken seriously and treated the same way as physical.
But then my Indian mind remembers my favourite character from "Alice in wonder land"; the CHESHIRE CAT. And the way it announces, " We all are mad here".
I have a tee with that quote and I am really fighting myself to get that tattoo. How silly is that? (Again immeasurable)
I have a tee with that quote and I am really fighting myself to get that tattoo. How silly is that? (Again immeasurable)
I know it sends the wrong message, but we are all mad to certain degree, relatively, so why bother as long as you are in control and have a strong support system.
I also am reminded of a short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez where in a spirited young girl takes a lift on highway from a mental institution bus which is transporting inhabitants and ends up being mistaken as one of them. Her partner comes to visit her and believes that something is indeed wrong with her. It's perspective, and like the cat said we all are mad here!
Irrespective of the taboo, the fear, madness should be taken seriously. If anything makes you feel less than capable of being normal ( again immeasurable) help should be seeked. And if you feel you have a coping system, be it shopping ( what you can afford), running, writing crappy blog posts, you are fine.
Bottom line- Life is not measurable and nothing is simple like the engineering units. everything comes with a pinch of salt. What we do know is life is finite and demands a unit system that simplifies things, that makes you get up in the morning with a smile and sleep without nightmares. Not that you can do it everyday, sometimes sh*t happens, but you deal with it, and measure it against the good days and as long as the balance is in the favour of good days- you're fine.
Still don't feel fine- Remind yourself, "we all are MAD here"
I also am reminded of a short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez where in a spirited young girl takes a lift on highway from a mental institution bus which is transporting inhabitants and ends up being mistaken as one of them. Her partner comes to visit her and believes that something is indeed wrong with her. It's perspective, and like the cat said we all are mad here!
Irrespective of the taboo, the fear, madness should be taken seriously. If anything makes you feel less than capable of being normal ( again immeasurable) help should be seeked. And if you feel you have a coping system, be it shopping ( what you can afford), running, writing crappy blog posts, you are fine.
Bottom line- Life is not measurable and nothing is simple like the engineering units. everything comes with a pinch of salt. What we do know is life is finite and demands a unit system that simplifies things, that makes you get up in the morning with a smile and sleep without nightmares. Not that you can do it everyday, sometimes sh*t happens, but you deal with it, and measure it against the good days and as long as the balance is in the favour of good days- you're fine.
Still don't feel fine- Remind yourself, "we all are MAD here"
1 comment:
Ive never had a root canal, or will never ever face labour. Now, that you have classified it conveniently, i shall remember to think about labour, during my root canal. And for sure will think "we are all mad here"
Post a Comment