Hypocrisy

I meant to say this since long, but somehow didnt know how to gather by thoughts around the hypocrisy of the society we live in. Let me first list down the triggers behind this write up in chronological order:
1. Jia Khan suicide case
2. Emma Watson
3. Harvey Weinstein case
4. The whole #metoo movement
5. The extension of it to India.
6. Some observations in day to day life

So where do I start and more importantly why do i start?
I will address the why part first. Humans have a tendency of dealing with everything  beyond the comfort zone - Ignore and hope it take cares of itself. Doesnt work.
Ours is a society of juxtapositions, where we have women like sunny leone who managed to maintain her dignity even with her background in adult movie industry and then we have women like rakhi sawant with no credibility.
Lets go west, The people who voted for Obama  belonged to the same nation that voted for Trump.
We have decent men maintaining a dignified silence and we have men like singer  Abhijit saying bullshit.
Point is to be aware of this juxtaposition.
To be aware that there were victims and there were harassers and there were mute spectators.  And there is a media which will portay it in juiciest way possible for TRPs which actually is the saddest part of this whole equation.
When any issue arises, we deal with it to come out on the otherside as a stronger, better society. But in this information age, everything is saleable- emotions, pain and above all harassment. What it finally leads to is diluting the issue at hand.
So what is the issue?
The way I see it, its an issue of dominance. Of one gender over other only because they feel the other gender is weaker- in postion, social status or physically maybe. And the other gender has 'allowed' them to think so, to adhere to the age old norms created by society. A norm which goes into victim shaming.Mind you I am not naming the genders, because somehow in this situation, women atleast joined the #metoo movement because they had a community, men who were harassed may never get to the point of sharing it in open for the fear of being ridiculed. I think thats sadder.
I have to accept here that I am not mature enough to feel the pain of the victims here. What can I do however is to call a spade a spade.
Isnt there something fundamentally wrong with a society that dictates that job safety comes over human safety? Why would someone choose to remain in a unsafe environment only because it can cost them their jobs, careers and integrity?
And the integrity of the harassers remains intact? Society fails here not the victims.
Mind you, we are still talking about showbiz, so we are the ones idol worshipping the so called celebrities.
How many times have we remarked that, "Yes, I have heard of media reports that so and so person is a womaniser... but who cares.. i admire him for his acting talent!!" A person cannot be segregated into fragments to love. One cannot be blind to the grey areas. Hitler had great regard for art, remember!
This brings me to point no.5.
India has two buckets to place women in..and are evident in Bollywood movies- Hero ki maa hoti hai and behen hoti hai... maa wears sarees and behen wears salwar suit with dupatta... low cut blouses are for the heroine. So respect is also distributed based on the yards of  clothing on the body.
Love +Respect equation is missing. Its either/ or.
Its pretty simple actually, for men who treat women with respect, the feeling is reciprocated and you would see it in the eyes of women, that they feel safe in your company. Again by science, women are intuitive and can see beyond the facades of pseudo feminists and masochists.
And now I go back to my role of being gender neutral. I have never believed in calling favours as i am more of an individualist.  The simple fact it comes down to is  to  having mutual respect.
None of the relations irrespective of genders can survive if this basic essence is missing.
A snide remark is violating respect.
A sexist comment is violating respect.
Anything that makes the other uncomfortable is violating respect.
Above all, allowing it to happen is the greatest violation.
Irrespective of genders, as a society if only mutual respect is given priority, it wouldn't disintegrate and we leave this world a better, safer place for everyone.