There is this universal system of raising children which is based on the lement of fear. It seems all children are brought up the same way. Hollywood children are scared of monsters in the closet. My reference to this being #supernatural again.
And our desi children- well since long, mothers have a unique way of instilling discipline in toddlers. In the process they not-so creative mothers create some monsters that children are scared of, and they remain in that fear zone till a long time. I, for instance have this irrational fear of dogs! Have no idea about the source of this fear but I am sure it must be related to some childhood incident.
So since hitting the child is so old-fashioned, modern mothers have an unique way of handling their naughty brats. By creating monsters! And here I list the five types of monsters every mother/parent creates-
1. The "face-less" monster:
I remember when my 3 year old neice refused to sleep, my mother would say "Go to sleep or watchman will take you away!" The funny part was our building didnt have a watchman, so in the poor child's imagination "watchman" was a scary monster who took away kids if they refused to sleep at night. I bet she would have drawn a sketch like this of the dreaded watchman in her head with his weapon of attack - the stick(danda)
2. The "known" monster:
This one is classic, as Maya Sarabhai will say "typical middle-class" monster every mother creates-
Mom: Stop playing in the mud.
Kid: *Refusing to pay attention, totally ignoring the mother*
Mom: I am warning you! Stop playing in mud, its dirty!
Kid:*Still no reaction, if at all, its a i-dare-you stare to mom*
Mom: Ok dont listen to me! i will tell Papa when he comes home.
Kid:*Immediately brushing his hands clean and running inside*
Papa somehow, becomes a monster in the kid's mind through whom the kid is blackmailed into obidience. This time the monster is a known monster.Loving Papa turning into a fearsome monster- His weapon being "bare hands"
3. The "higher-authority" monster:
Children are funny in a way that once they enter school, the teacher becomes GOd. So everything she says has to be followed by the kid and also his parents. And that kind of authority gives parents the chance to make a monster out of the teacher, so the conversation flows like this-
Mom: "If you dont brush your teeth at night, I will tell your teacher"
And the kid to save himself from the embarrassment of his teacher knowing that he is the kind of kid who doesnt brush teeth at night, meekly follows the command.
In that instant, the sweet teacher turns into a monster with a "chalk" in her hand as a weapon by which she will write "**** is a bad boy" on blackboard for all to see.
4. The "random stranger" monster.
This one is epic again, and as old as time itself. everytime a child misbehaves in a shop or supermarket, the shopkeeper becomes the monster.Or in a supermarket, the meek helper becomes a fearsome Godzilla.
Mom: See, if you dont get up from the floor at once, uncle will beat you
And the kid, fearfully through tearsome eyes, gives up his demand for chocolate and tries assessing how the meek uncle has so much power!
5. "The unbeatable Mom monster"
Every kid knows one thing, MOm is the final authority on everything. If you keep her happy she will pamper you to the world's end. However if by chance you wong her, than hell hath no fury! Even the "hulk Smash!" anger is surpassed by mom's anger. And then the kid has no option but to behave. Anything from the simple rolling pin to a utensil, ladle, ruler can become her weapon as she immediately turns into the Goddess Kali about to attack Maheshasoor.
I have a sweet 10 month old, and she tries me to my wit's end. So much so that every night before her I am on the verge of crying as she refuses to sleep and I am tired at the end of a long days work. Even multiple cups of coffee give up on me. But somehow I am trying to adopt a fearless parenting style. Let me see if I retain this control when she turns a demanding toddler. But for now I imagine this as I grow old with her-
Here's to all parents'- May God give you the strength of raise fearless kids!!
And our desi children- well since long, mothers have a unique way of instilling discipline in toddlers. In the process they not-so creative mothers create some monsters that children are scared of, and they remain in that fear zone till a long time. I, for instance have this irrational fear of dogs! Have no idea about the source of this fear but I am sure it must be related to some childhood incident.
So since hitting the child is so old-fashioned, modern mothers have an unique way of handling their naughty brats. By creating monsters! And here I list the five types of monsters every mother/parent creates-
1. The "face-less" monster:
I remember when my 3 year old neice refused to sleep, my mother would say "Go to sleep or watchman will take you away!" The funny part was our building didnt have a watchman, so in the poor child's imagination "watchman" was a scary monster who took away kids if they refused to sleep at night. I bet she would have drawn a sketch like this of the dreaded watchman in her head with his weapon of attack - the stick(danda)
2. The "known" monster:
This one is classic, as Maya Sarabhai will say "typical middle-class" monster every mother creates-
Mom: Stop playing in the mud.
Kid: *Refusing to pay attention, totally ignoring the mother*
Mom: I am warning you! Stop playing in mud, its dirty!
Kid:*Still no reaction, if at all, its a i-dare-you stare to mom*
Mom: Ok dont listen to me! i will tell Papa when he comes home.
Kid:*Immediately brushing his hands clean and running inside*
Papa somehow, becomes a monster in the kid's mind through whom the kid is blackmailed into obidience. This time the monster is a known monster.Loving Papa turning into a fearsome monster- His weapon being "bare hands"
3. The "higher-authority" monster:
Children are funny in a way that once they enter school, the teacher becomes GOd. So everything she says has to be followed by the kid and also his parents. And that kind of authority gives parents the chance to make a monster out of the teacher, so the conversation flows like this-
Mom: "If you dont brush your teeth at night, I will tell your teacher"
And the kid to save himself from the embarrassment of his teacher knowing that he is the kind of kid who doesnt brush teeth at night, meekly follows the command.
In that instant, the sweet teacher turns into a monster with a "chalk" in her hand as a weapon by which she will write "**** is a bad boy" on blackboard for all to see.
4. The "random stranger" monster.
This one is epic again, and as old as time itself. everytime a child misbehaves in a shop or supermarket, the shopkeeper becomes the monster.Or in a supermarket, the meek helper becomes a fearsome Godzilla.
Mom: See, if you dont get up from the floor at once, uncle will beat you
And the kid, fearfully through tearsome eyes, gives up his demand for chocolate and tries assessing how the meek uncle has so much power!
5. "The unbeatable Mom monster"
Every kid knows one thing, MOm is the final authority on everything. If you keep her happy she will pamper you to the world's end. However if by chance you wong her, than hell hath no fury! Even the "hulk Smash!" anger is surpassed by mom's anger. And then the kid has no option but to behave. Anything from the simple rolling pin to a utensil, ladle, ruler can become her weapon as she immediately turns into the Goddess Kali about to attack Maheshasoor.
I have a sweet 10 month old, and she tries me to my wit's end. So much so that every night before her I am on the verge of crying as she refuses to sleep and I am tired at the end of a long days work. Even multiple cups of coffee give up on me. But somehow I am trying to adopt a fearless parenting style. Let me see if I retain this control when she turns a demanding toddler. But for now I imagine this as I grow old with her-
Here's to all parents'- May God give you the strength of raise fearless kids!!
